And I Am An Addict

thewestwing.banner.gettyDamn you, Netflix.

Recently Netflix posted 156 episodes of The West Wing, seven seasons, and I’m whistling the theme song, dreaming of C. J., and worrying about political disputes now 14 years old… and fictional.

I was once so proud of missing the first incarnation. From 1999-2006, when people talked about The West Wing, I shrugged and blithely said, “Never seen it.” When others writhed in disbelief, I smirked. When they insisted I could catch up and that catching up would be worth it, I resisted their evil temptations. I would hold out.

Then Netflix brought it back. Like my mother, hurt that I turned down last night’s boiled cabbage, Netflix brought me a steaming bowlful for breakfast. Only, in this analogy The West Wing isn’t boiled cabbage, it’s green eggs and ham—delicious and served in such perfect portions I always have room for one… more… episode.

Now I’m sleepy and cranky and interested in little else.

A colleague at work told me about someone on Twitter who shares my dilemma. Like me, he’s watching the series for the first time and tweeting witty exaltation about “developments” in the last episode he watched… as if it aired last night, as if anyone in this day and age knew what the hell he was talking about or could share his enthusiasm. But I do understand. I know. I too feel the urge to yell “Let Bartlet be Bartlet!” from the rooftops.

I know, I know, that means nothing to you. That’s the trouble with television series on the computer, they are my ugly secret, drinking I do alone in the dim house. My wife discovers me in the middle of the night, bleary-eyed and babbling about getting one more fix. So many ugly confessions to make—Friday Night Lights, Life, Eureka, Dollhouse, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica, Jericho, Downton Abbey, Mad Men, Better Off Ted, Pushing Daisies, Sports Night, Slings and Arrows, The Tudors, A Gifted Man.

I’m hopeless and will need at least 20 steps to get better. Yet who can understand? Who will be my sponsor? I’m caught in a time warp—sort of like Life on Mars, which shouldn’t have been cancelled. I carry my furtive addiction like a looped spoon and a length of surgical tubing, afraid to admit my sickness and afraid to find company, afraid to quit and afraid to seek help.

Last night I finished the end of West Wing’s first season, and I thought I could cut myself off there, go cold turkey, but, after a Town Hall in which—between the President’s brilliant answers during Q and A—Toby learned his brother on the broken space shuttle landed safely, some West Virginian white supremacist Nazi took a shot at Charlie because he’s dating Zooey! I could hardly be expected to wait… how did people manage it when summer months passed between one season and the next? I had to see what happened and what happened had two parts.

122 episodes to go. Help me.

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6 Comments

Filed under Doubt, Essays, Home Life, Identity, Laments, life, Modern Life, Television, The West Wing, Thoughts, Worry

6 responses to “And I Am An Addict

  1. Let me tell you, David, 7:20 in the morning, with my brain barely awake and my eyes blurry, and your essay has me laughing. I’m even forwarding it to my husband, in part, because I get the Netflix dilemma, but mostly because we are West Wing aficionados. We can do you one better. We own the series. While there are not so strong episodes every rare so often, the writing, the acting, the content is so spot on, so endlessly interesting, so much damn fun, that we periodically take ourselves through it. It has become our go to television when nothing else is on and we don’t feel like searching Netflix. With familiarity, comes awe at just how good this series is. So, sit back and enjoy.

    • dmarshall58

      I was having a dispute with a colleague at work over West Wing and whether people actually speak that way. My side was that no one can be that witty, so ready with an apt rejoinder at any second. He said they ought to be. I’m well into the second season now, trying to sneak in another episode when I can… I let you know when I get to the end. Thanks for commenting. –D

  2. Thomas

    For some reason, this post made me think about the ending to the movie “The Cable Guy”. lol

    • dmarshall58

      I’ll have to go back to discover it. I know I’ve seen it but can’t remember the end. Something tells me it ends with some pathologically connected person installed before the altar of the television… which, if so, would be accurate except that it’s my computer. Thanks for visiting, D.

  3. Steve

    With me it was 30 Rock. A pox on you, Netlix!

  4. Pingback: Walking Around The Year | Signals to Attend

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